The End

Joe passes me a day old Big Mac,
The beef's a little tough, but the bun's not too stale.
If I just close my eyes, it kinda tastes like the MREs from five years ago.

Actually, a lot of it's the same.
The crash when trash trucks drop the metal bins,
The cries of the cats at night,
I've heard it all before.

I hear the rapid fire of machine guns,
and the screams of death as my fellow soldiers are wounded.
The colonel is barking in my ear, to aim at my target and fire...

But I can't.
Not anymore.
People gawk and look at me as they pass by,
They call me lazy, stupid, and dirty.

I once accepted the call of duty with integrity, honor, and respect,
But, look at me know.

1984- Blog #5 & 6: His Own Coral

    Winston is living in a grim and dreary world, where his monotonous actions are constantly under scrutiny. The wrong look or phrase could lead to vaporization. Winston is trapped, and the only aspect of his life where he has the slightest bit of control are his thoughts. After the revolution, the government has acquired complete control over the lives of the citizens, and Winston is left wondering about the purpose and value of his lonely life. One day, he is wandering around in the proletariat section of town when he happens upon a shop with antiques. One of the items that catches his eye is a glass paperweight with a coral center. Winston remarks that it captures his fascination because "There [is] such a depth of it, and yet it [is] almost as transparent as air" (147). The glass figure does not serve a direct purpose, and therefore the government has not been able to corrupt and disfigure its original meaning. The natural and innate beauty of the piece captures Winston's attention, just like the relationship he shares with Julia. The first free conversation they share happens in "a natural clearing, a tiny grassy knoll surrounded by tall saplings that shut it in completely" (119). The time spent with Julia in the clearing is like the coral in Winston's life. He appreciates the beauty of this setting just as he appreciates the glass artwork. The clearing allows emotion and natural desires to be expressed without the oppression of BB. At first, Julia and Winston have sex as political defiance. However, their emotions stem from political agitation to fondness and affection for one another. Winston wants to be able to share a loving, natural, and open relationship with Julia. He wants a relationship that is deep and palpable, just like the crystal paperweight.

Relationship Status: It's Complicated

Thesis: In his trek through the heart of darkness, Marlow encounters many unsettling characters, but none of them are as complex as the mysterious Mr. Kurtz. Marlow feels captivated, envious, respect, and spite towards Mr. Kurtz because of the ambiguity in his character and his straightforward and honest approach to imperialism.

I. Kurtz is a legend in the world of imperialism for his unusually ample production of ivory, and thus Marlow is intrigued by the mystery behind his character even before they become acquainted.

A. While docked at the  first station, Marlow hears a lot of chatter about the ominous figure of Mr. Kurtz.

1. "'Ivory,' jerked the nephew; 'lots of it-prime sort-lots-most annoying, from him'" (103).

-Marlow has seen the brutality of imperialism and the greed involved. He is curious as to why the other station leaders are so fixated on Kurtz.

B. Kurtz was heading home and then curiously returned to his station.

1. "It was a distant glimpse: the dugout, four paddling savages, and the lone white man turning his back on the headquarters, on relief, on thoughts of home" (103)."

-This action sets Kurtz apart from the rest of the station leaders because he seems to have an alternative motive behind simply creating profit for the company. Marlow feels so lost in this world, that he thinks Kurtz may have some of the answers for which he is looking.

C. Language, the ability to voice your thoughts, is considered the most valuable human characteristic by Marlow; Marlow sees Kurtz as the voice, therefore demonstrating his interest and admiration for the man. When he think that Kurtz had died Marlow is a wreck.

1. "'By Jove! it's all over. We are too late; he has vanished-the gift has vanished...I will never hear that chap speak after all'" (124).

Kurtz is set apart by the rest of the station leaders, piquing Marlow's interest in this ominous character that does not seem to follow the expected actions of an imperialist.

II. Marlow witnesses the vast power in the hands of Kurtz, and he is amazed and envious of the control Kurtz can wield on nature and the natives.

A. Kurtz is an emaciated and diseased man, but he is able to dominate the healthy hordes of natives.

1. "As if by enchantment, streams of human beings...were poured into the clearing the dark-faced and pensive forest. The bushes shook, the grass swayed for a time, and then everything stood still in attentive immobility" (140).

Nature is also obedient to the demands of Mr. Kurtz; the trees pour out the natives for his desires. The other station masters are abusive and cruel, but the environment seems to idolize Kurtz, which makes him the most successful manager. Marlow has never witnessed this level of power out of adoration instead of blatant fear. Kurtz's tactics of trade and theft are straightforward. He is not fixated on keeping neat accounts of the natives or glossing over the brutality because his methods may not be just, but he is honest and apparent with his actions.

B. Marlow is in awe at the level of control held by Kurtz, but he is also envious and spiteful at the fact that he has so much power.

1. "I resented bitterly the absurd danger of our situation, as if to be at the mercy of that atrocious phantom had been a dishonoring necessity" (140).

At the other stations, Marlow is seen as an equal to the other white managers, but here he feels subordinate. Kurtz is viewed as a deity by the natives, and Marlow does not like to think of himself as so utterly helpless. He therefore resents Kurtz for creating a situation where the natives could potentially harm the Europeans because he views the white race as superior.

III. Out of all the station masters, Marlow respects Kurtz for his ability to clearly view the reality of imperialism. Kurtz recognizes his morals have been led astray, which diseases not only his mind but also his body.    

A. Kurtz began his voyage with clear morals, but over the years the imperialism has overthrown his moral compass and the greed began to set in.

"The wilderness had patted him on the head, and, behold, it was like a ball...it had taken him, loved him, embraced him, got into his veins, consumed his flesh, and sealed his soul to its own by the inconceivable ceremonies of some devilish initiation. He was its spoiled and pampered favourite" (125).

-When he first began acquiring the ivory, Kurtz would trade the ivory for European goods. However, now Kurtz is simply a thief that raids native tribes for their ivory without giving them anything in return. The greed for ivory has consumed his morality. Unlike the other station leaders, Kurtz begins to deteriorate mentally and physically when his actions have gone askew from his intentions. Marlow feels a connection with Kurtz because they both recognize the corruption in imperialism. Kurtz is like an extension of what Marlow could become given the isolation, power, and lust. The physical deterioration of Kurtz is caused by the deterioration of his morals, signifying to Marlow that his character can comprehend the corruption brought upon by imperialism. Marlow respects Kurtz for his ability to view the injustice.

IV. Marlow is forced to question his morals in Africa, but Kurtz's eloquence manipulates Marlow to commit the act he most definitively abhors: a lie.

A. Marlow interrupts his narrative to explain to the audience the thing he detests the most.

1. "You know I hate, detest, and can't bear a lie, not because I am straighter than the rest of us, but simply because it appalls me. There is a taint of death, a flavour of morality in lies " (97).

-Marlow abhors lying because saying false information is like killing the truth. He does not think that he is a better person than the rest of society, but lying is incredibly painful and uncomfortable for Marlow. Nonetheless, at the end of the novel he lies to the intended of Kurtz to protect her sanity.

2. "'The last words he pronounced was- your name'...It seemed that the house would collapse before I could escape, that the heavens would fall upon my head. But nothing happened...I could not tell her. It would have been too dark" (164).

-While traveling though the heart of darkness, Marlow encountered evils he never knew existed. With all of the cruelty and brutality in the world, Marlow decides that the lie will do more good than harm. The world is full of evils and temptation, so Marlow realizes that ignorance can be the best protection against the cruelties of society.

Conclusion: The complexity in the relationship between Marlow and Kurtz derives from the multiple perspectives in which Marlow views the mysterious station leader.  Kurtz becomes a legend, an idol, a teacher, and a devil in the eyes of Marlow, forcing him to reevaluate his own morals and beliefs.

The Better of Two Evils

     Conrad juxtaposes Europe with Africa in order to set the countries as foils for one another to highlight their distinct forms of evil. Africa is portrayed as a very uncivilized, savage, and beastly continent. In addition, it is saturated with corrupt leaders that crave the failure of others for personal gain. As Kurtz is inhaling his final breaths, one of the competing managers "leaned back, serene, with that peculiar smile of his sealing the unexpressed depths of his meanness" (154). Conrad blatantly describes the brutality of the station leaders not only to the natives but also to their peers to capture the corruption of Africa. Cruel and brutal Africa is contradicted by the safe and ignorant Europe. When Marlow returns to Europe, his problems diminish in danger but increase in frustration. He is approached by multiple characters inquiring about the detailed notes outlining the experiences of Kurtz. Marlow refuses to "give up the smallest scrap out of that package" (156). The actions of the people in Europe continue to aggravate Marlow, and he comments: "I had no particular desire to enlighten them, but I had some difficulty in restraining myself from laughing in their faces so full of stupid importance" (156). Europe is the land of the civilized, the wealthy, and the ignorant. Marlow becomes more flustered by the selfish actions of the Europeans than when the savages began shooting at the steamboat on the river, demonstrating the pettiness of Europe. Conrad heightens the contrast between Africa and Europe in order to emphasize the evil possessed by each. Africa represents the physical and overtly apparent cruelties of life, whereas Europe demonstrates the corruption and ignorance behind our actions.

Breathtaking Suicide

     The limited quantity of words utilized by MacLeish in his poem "Suicide's Note" does not hinder its depth and profoundness. The entire poem is only twelve words in length: "The calm,/ Cool face of the river/ Asked me for a kiss." These three lines are so powerful because they convey a sentiment of relaxation and beauty to a topic as morbid as suicide. A silent image is formed in the minds of the audience upon reading the poem. We can envision a person walking down to the river's edge, viewing their reflection in the river, and then becoming swept away by the current. In addition, I placed the speaker in a cool, brisk morning; as he approaches the water, he lingers by the edge, looking knowingly into the stream before becoming enveloped by the water. The entrance into the water is a safe and peaceful environment for the speaker. The gruesome act of committing suicide is lined in beautiful terms, creating a conflict within the reader regarding thier sentiments towards the speaker's actions. The repetition of the 'ka' sound through "calm," "cool," and "kiss" creates a poetic and enchanting lust to the poem. However, readers crave a happy ending and want the speaker to contemplate and reject their suicidal actions. The audience is torn because they want the speaker to refuse the kiss, but at the same time the majesty and serenity of the scene allows the reader to comprehend the speaker's outlook. In twelve simple words, MacLeish is able to create a calming poem revolving a depressing topic, conflicting the reader between the beauty and horror of suicide.