To the Lighthouse: 4

     The end of a good book should leave the reader pondering, as does the novel To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf. During class discussions, we analyze and scrutinize the minute details. However, I find it most enjoyable when we zoom out of the text and use the literature as a lens to reexamine our own lives.
     Upon the finishing the last page, the novel has completed a full circle. The book begins with James begging his mother to go to the lighthouse. After about 200 pages of stormy weather, the son finally arrives at his destination. However, his journey is like an emotional roller coaster, rising and sinking with the waves. When the reader is first introduced to James, he is infuriated by the dismissive way in which he is treated by his father and remarks, "Had there been an axe handy, or a poker, any weapon that would have gashed a hole in his father's breast and killed him, there and then, James would have seized it" (Woolf 4).  Almost twenty years later, Mr. Ramsay is eliciting similar sentiments in his son as they sail to the lighthouse: "James kept dreading the moment when he would look up and speak sharply to him about something or other [...] And if he does, James thought, then I shall take a knife and strike him to the heart" (Woolf 183-184). Time may have passed, but the relationship between Mr. Ramsay and James has not progressed in the past twenty years. However, this time James is steering the ship, and he is in control of his own destiny. James bottles up his immense hatred towards his father; however, it is not so much that James despises his father, but that he despises the worthlessness and inferiority that his father makes him feel. Branching off of the idea that the lighthouse reveals the truth about a person, the sea is like the personal journey. The closer that James sails to the lighthouse, the more he grows and matures. At last, Mr. Ramsay positively acknowledges his son, and James could not feel more triumphant: "He was so pleased that he was not going to let anybody share a grain of his pleasure. His father had praised him" (Woolf 206). With recognition from his father, James is finally able to feel comfortable and confident with himself. His journey to the lighthouse is like his journey to unveiling his own identity; the process is slow and gradual, and it can only be accomplished by the conquest of our biggest insecurities and fears.
     Every person journeys to their own lighthouse, and there is no specific date or time at which this occurs. Our lighthouse illuminates our identity, and with the truth unveiled we are able to conquer our fears and insecurities. The next few years are influential at shaping who we become as people, and it is very probable that many of us will soon travel to our lighthouse. The journey requires people like Mr. Ramsay to weigh us down along the way because we cannot come to appreciate ourselves without conquering our biggest critics.